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For so long I’d look to others and what I thought I wanted to be/do/feel as a measure of how ‘well’ I was doing. If I wasn’t where they were, I wasn’t ‘there’. I thought that if I had what they had or if I looked like them, I would be complete.

Living and working in central London didn’t help. I was inundated with media messages of how to look and if I just bought this item or did this thing, I would be happy. My young, malleable mind was hooked, and I spent a lot of money on things to feel better about myself.

I also felt the pressure to be a certain way. It was weird that I didn’t know what I wanted, and I had friends who thought we should be getting married, having children and buying a house, at our age. I SO didn’t feel that though. I felt I still needed to go through stuff. Still needed to shed layers. Learn who I really was deep inside.

I’m grateful to my dad, as he always said that I should do life my own way. He encouraged me to follow my dreams and asked me what is ‘normal’? I knew deep down inside that he was right, I felt that too. When I began to follow my own path, he supported me and always just allowed me to be me. 

Really getting to know myself and appreciate myself for being me was life changing and helped me melt further into my own being. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had done what I thought I ‘should’ do!

Do you ever compare yourself to others? 

Social media can be a prime place for this – I still find myself comparing my life to others’ ‘highlights’ on their feeds.

Look out for this and try not to compare, instead you could perhaps notice what moves you in others and let it inspire you. I often find when I compare myself to others it’s because I want what that person has, so I know it is something to move towards in my own life.

Also remember you are uniquely beautiful because you are YOU. This is your life and your journey. Celebrate your individuality and applaud others when they embrace theirs.

This blog post is a snippet from my book, Embodied.

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Photo by Kien Do on Unsplash.